Christopher Titus

Christopher Titus (Stand Up Comedian)

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Christopher Todd Titus (born October 1, 1964, in Castro Valley, California) is an Emmy Award nominated American comedian and actor. He grew up in Newark, California. Titus came to national attention with the eponymous FOX show Titus.^[1] He is also a stand-up comedian whose act revolves around his dysfunctional family and shocking life experiences.

Early life

Titus was born in Castro Valley, California to Ken Titus and Juanita C. Holmes. Christopher's parents divorced when he was a young child, and he was raised largely by his father, Ken, a judgmental, chain-smoking, hard drinker who was married six times and divorced five times. His mother, Juanita, suffered from schizophrenia and spent time in and out of mental hospitals. At four he was taken away from his father and given to his grandparents on his mother's side. His father went to kidnap him back and told the local district attorney of his plans without them knowing. Rather than arrest him, the attorney gave him legal tactics he could use to get his son back which he used and eventually regained custody of Christopher. When he was 12 he ran away from his father to live with his mother, during which he lived in her garage but he shortly moved back with his father. According to Titus in Norman Rockwell is Bleeding, Juanita was acquitted in 1986 after murdering her second husband who beat her up during Thanksgiving dinner, and committed suicide in 1994 after marrying another abusive man and being sent to therapy for hurling a Duraflame log through the window of a Missouri sheriff's office. This resulted in Titus having a nervous breakdown on his flight a week after her funeral. His father, Ken Titus, died in 2001 of cardiac arrest. Christopher dedicated his entire "Norman Rockwell is Bleeding" special and an episode of his show Titus ("The Pendulum," where Christopher is in a coma following a racecar crash and Ken [played by Stacy Keach] narrates the episode in Christopher's Neutral Space) to his late father.

Titus had problems with alcohol and drugs during adolescence until one day, while intoxicated, he fell into a bonfire at a beach party. In the morning, his friends took him to the hospital, where the doctor told him he would have died if he had inhaled the deadly hot smoke inside of the bonfire. He calls this moment his "epiphany" and began to turn his life around and get into comedy.^[2]

He has a younger stepbrother named Dave Scouville.

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Just Jokes

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had
written the word 'penis' in tiny small letters. She turned around, scanned the
class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and
began her class.
The next day she went into the room and she saw, in larger letters, the word
'penis' again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the
culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.

Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the
same word written on the board, and each day it was written in larger letters.

Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on
the board, but instead, found the words, "The more you rub it, the bigger it
gets!"

Advice From Dad

A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?"

His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don't know, son."

The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?"

Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son."

Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?"

Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son."

The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I'm asking you all of these questions?"

"Of course not son." replied his dad,  "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"

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